A Case of the Speed Wobbles
Well, everyone said it would happen, and it’s happened. Nine months into my new life, I’ve started to have a few ‘being home’ speed wobbles.
A couple of months ago I wrote about how re-integrating into New Zealand society (a bit like a criminal, but with a much better wardrobe) had been fine. And it is fine. But in the last three weeks, the ground below me has started to shift a little, my equilibrium has wavered and I’ve had a few teary moments.
It all started when I went to Hawaii for a week to renew my green card (I’m not ready to give it up yet) and do some power shopping and pina colada-drinking with my Mum. (An aside: Did we power shop. It was like a flipping feeding frenzy at the outlet mall. We each came home with an extra suitcase filled with clothes and make up – and in my case a rug – and still spent less than we would have on three items of clothing in New Zealand.)
The whole week was relaxing and warm and it was nice to be around those crazy Americans again. Then I got home, home to Auckland, New Zealand, and a feeling of ‘Is this it?’, starting to creep in. It’s manifested in feeling a bit off my game, a tiny bit down in the dumps, and bit more fretful than usual.
I’m still happy to be here. I still have a good job, great friends and lots of things to be thankful for and enjoy. But settling in is obviously going to take a bit longer than I thought. How long? I don’t know. How long does it take to give up one sense of place and take on another?